To add to our list of "batshit crazy" predictions for the tournament, I would like to go ahead and throw down with my prediction that the University of Georgia Bulldogs will prevail over the #3 seed Xavier. First of all, the Bulldogs are coming off a great run through the SEC tournament that will carry into the first round of the NCAA tourny. Secondly, their mascot is a bulldog. I can't even tell you what Xavier's mascot is, therefore they will lose. Another reason why I know the UGA will prevail is that unlike Xavier, they utilize a real school name. Xavier on the other hand tried to be ambiguous with the naming of the institution of higher learning. The Catholic church obviously thought that by giving the school a prestigious name that is reminiscent of East Coast old money, they could hide the fact that the school does reside in Cincinnati, OH. Nice try...we're on to you. I'm not buying it just like I'm not buying the fact that a university without a recognizable mascot will beat a bulldog. After all, if you beat the Georgia Bulldogs, you're gonna feel a bulldog bite.
So each of us here at 64ML is going to make a crazy prediction for the upcoming NCAA tournament. I'm not talking Kentucky over Marquette crazy or even USC to the Elite 8 crazy. I'm talking batshit insane, Bucknell over Kansas crazy (64-63. As a Mizzou fan, my family owns 2 Bucknell t-shirts), Hampton over Iowa St crazy. Hopefully, we'll end up with some bragging rights as the Nostradami of the basketball court. At the very least, you can end up laughing at us as Memphis beats Texas-Arlington by 50.
So without further ado, here's my fearless prediction: UMBC (that's University of Maryland- Baltimore Country) over Georgetown. Georgetown is a bit overrated as a 2 seed, UMBC a bit underrated as a 15 (their RPI is 89). UMBC coasted through their conference tourney, allowing only one team within single digits of them. They have four players who average more than 13 points a game. They also have some good wins this year--they won at Richmond, beat George Washington, blew out American at American and kept it close at Wichita St and Ohio St. The only potentially worrying result was a 20+ point blowout at the hands of West Virginia. They're playing in Raleigh, so any neutral fans will jump on the UMBC bandwagon if they keep it close in the early-going. Plus, how can you root against a team called the Retrievers?
Georgetown had an up-and-down year, and if it wasn't for their prowess last year with Jeff Green and Roy Hibbert, wouldn't be ranked in the top 10 or have a #2 seed. Green (the better of the two) is gone, and it's up to Hibbert and Pat Ewing, Jr. to carry the team. They won some games on questionable calls throughout the year, and haven't looked extremely impressive.
So there's my logic. I don't know if it's extremely solid, but that's how I justified it to myself. I know it's a crazy prediction, but you gotta believe in the Retrievers. You heard it here first--UMBC 65, Georgetown 60
Officially back from Spring Break, but I believe we're opting to extend it another day in light of today being St. Patty's Day. In the meantime, here's some goodness:
64 Miller Lites will be taking a weekish sabbatical for Spring Break. In the voting for the Three B's of Spring Break, blogging was narrowly edged out by beer, babes, and beaches. We hope you understand. Look for us to return sometime around March 17th. Or maybe the 18th if the St. Patty's Day celebrations get a bit out of hand. Cheers!
The 1960s and 1970s in America were a weird time in America, marked by political unrest, disco, and women with pubic hair. Our newest American Hero, Dock Ellis, who pitched in the Major Leagues from 1968 to 1979, was definitely a man of his time. It's safe to say a character like Ellis couldn't exist in the uptight, white-collar world of modern baseball. Ellis qualifies as a hero not only for his bizarre antics on the mound, but for his one historic feat that he will forever be known for.
On June 12, 1970, Dock Ellis threw the only no-hitter of his career. While tripping on LSD. Apparently, the good ole Dock woke up in Los Angeles and thinking it was Thursday, decided to take a few hits of acid (which was apparently his Thursday routine). Turns out Dock, in his cocaine and heroin-fueled binge, had slept through Thursday, and it was actually Friday, the day he was scheduled to pitch. In San Diego. His girlfriend rushed him to the airport and he got on a flight to San Diego, barely making it to the game on time.
Without much of a warmup, Ellis was put on the mound to pitch the first game of a doubleheader. While tripping on LSD. In front of 30,000+ fans. Predictably, Ellis was erratic, walking batters, having wild pitches, and hitting batters. But he was also unhittable--Ellis made it through nine innings without a single Padre getting a hit against him. Contrary to baseball etiquette which states players are not supposed to mention the possibility of a no-hitter lest they jinx the pitcher, Ellis talked about it between every inning in the dugout.
Ellis' memory of the fateful game is understandably fuzzy. In an interview, Ellis said: "I can only remember bits and pieces of the game. I was psyched. I had a feeling of euphoria. I was zeroed in on the (catcher's glove), but I didn't hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters and the bases were loaded two or three times. The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I tried to stare the hitter down and throw while I was looking at him. I chewed my gum until it turned to powder. They say I had about three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn't hit hard and never reached me."
The rest of Ellis' career was marked with similar bizarre incidents. Prior to a game against the Reds in 1974, Ellis, angered by the Reds' swagger, announced, "We gonna get down. We gonna do the do. I'm going to hit these motherfuckers." Ellis proceeded to hit the first three batters of the game. He attempted to hit the fourth batter, but missed on four consecutive pitches, walking in a run. He twice threw at the fifth batter's head before being removed by his manager. Ellis later admitted that he was on amphetamines for this game. This incident came a few years after Ellis had hit Reggie Jackson in the face in retaliation for Jackson's towering home run he hit off Ellis in the 1971 All Star Game.
Ellis' eccentricity translated to his off the field antics as well. In 1972, Ellis showed up drunk to Riverfront Stadium, and was stopped by a security guard, who asked to see Ellis' player ID card. Ellis, half-finished jug of wine in one hand, took a swing at the security guard and was maced and charged with disorderly conduct. Ellis was also known for taking his pregame warmups while wearing his hair curlers:
By all accounts, Ellis cleaned up his life after the tumultuous 1970s. He says he never again pitched while on LSD (He never threw another no-hitter, either. Coincidence?). He now works as a drug counselor in California. Here's to you, Mr. Ellis--you truly are an American Hero. By throwing that no-hitter almost 40 years ago, you've reminded us that in the realm of sports, anything is possible. Looking back, you may not be proud of it, but without that fateful day, you may not have been remembered. After all, who remembers Bill Singer or Clyde Wright, two other pitchers that threw no-hitters that year? You remind us of an era where the baseball was simpler and performance-enhancing drugs consisted of cocaine and a few sheets of acid, not anabolic steroids and HGH.
We here at 64 Miller Lites are unabashed Road House fans. We find it hard to pinpoint our love for the admittedly bad movie--perhaps it's because it's set in our home state of Missouri, perhaps we just love watching people get their throats ripped out. Recently, however, actors from this film have been dropping like flies. Just yesterday, news broke that Patrick "Pain Don't Hurt" Swayze has pancreatic cancer, one of the deadliest forms of cancer. This comes on the heels of musician and actor Jeff Healey's death on Tuesday. Other Road House stars we're worried may be next to fall victim to the Curse:
Sam Elliott
Pros: Abstains from White Russians and Oat Sodas in The Big Lebowski, opts for sarsaparillas
Cons: Elliott's signature raspy voice can't be natural--the guy must smoke 2-4 packs of cigarettes a day. Also, for Elliott, beef is what's for dinner. Red meat + cigarettes = Heart Disease.
Kelly Lynch
Go back and check out the Lynch- Swayze sex scene in the film. Notice anything about Lynch's body? No tan lines--a sure sign of future skin cancer. Not to mention the back problems she must have incurred by The Swayze railing her against the brick fireplace. Tick tock, Ms. Lynch. Tick tock.
Ben Gazzara
The oldest of the main Road House characters, Gazzara played anti-Swayze Brad Wesley. Also played known pornographer Jackie Treehorn in The Big Lebowski. Old age (Gazzara is 77) and portraying assholes will be Gazzara's downfall.
Darren "Shawn Kemp" McFadden's agent confirmed this week that the star running back is the subject of a paternity suit over a 5 month old, and that McFadden "might" have fathered two other children, due to be born in July and August. We think that shows a marvelous commitment to the ideals of the NFL. Like the scouts say, this kid is truly ready for professional football.
Did I mention McFadden is 20? When I was 20, my biggest worry was choosing between Keystone and Natty, not paying child support to three different women. I think McFadden's nickname "Mr. 501" refers not to his home area code, but his number of sexual partners.
We at 64 Miller Lites would like to take a minute to analyze this situation a little more, to try to determine when exactly Run DMC knocked up those unfortunate hoodrats.
ARKANSAS 2007 FOOTBALL SCHEDULE
9/1Troy(W 46-26)
9/15@ Alabama(L41-38)
9/22Kentucky(L42-29)
9/29North Texas(W66-7)
10/6Chattanooga(W34-15)
10/13Auburn(L9-7)
10/20@ Ole Miss(W44-8)
10/27FIU(W58-10)
11/3South Carolina(W48-36)
11/10@ Tennessee(L34-13)
11/17Mississippi St(W45-31)
11/23@ LSU(W50-48)
1/1/08Mizzou(L38-7)
The two newest children are due in July and August, making the times of conception somewhere in October and November. We're supposing that D-Mac would be more likely to consummate his relationships with these women after big wins. It would appear that the first child was likely conceived after the Ole Miss win on October 20th (Chattanooga and FIU are hardly big wins; I'm sure nobody in the stadium wanted to mess around after the abortion that was the Auburn game). The second child is a little harder to figure out, as there was three conference wins in November. I'd be willing to wager, though, that it was after that LSU game. Why then? Check out the on-field interview after they won that game:
Today is your day Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris.Go ahead and celebrate.I know I will upon the completion of this article.Unfortunately you and I both know that it will be short lived as I will probably be meeting you in court on charges of trademark infringement, unjust enrichment, and privacy rights.But hell, why don’t we both go ahead and live in the moment.You have been the cornerstone of an Internet phenomenon and have received wide-ranging public approval for your C-grade acting, endorsement of less than able political figures, and most importantly, your promotion of the Total Gym workout system.
Where do I begin?Well, let’s see, there are so many places to start, but where else is more appropriate than Chuck’s most recent appearance in the headlines?For those of you who are following the Presidential race, you may recall that Chuck came out in support of soon-to-be-canned Republican Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee.The endorsement came in the form of this and other TV commercials:
I guess we have to give the folks at the Huckabee campaign a little credit for bringing something new to the political scene but that doesn't excuse the stupidity of the commercial. Honestly this piece started out as a slam on Huckabee but after further investigation I determined that ole Chuck was much more deserving of being coined our first hambone over here at 64 Miller Lites.
For those of you who really pay attention to Chuck, you are probably already familiar with the jokes that circled the internet impressing upon the fact that Chuck is essentially a superior human being. Like anybody, Chuck was quick to jump on the bandwagon as a fan of the jokes (for further reading check out www.chucknorrisfacts.com). He appeared on the popular sports television show Best Damn Sports Show to read off his list of top 10 favorite "Chuckisms."
Now all of this is fine and dandy and I'm sure you are wondering where he went sour...In 2007 Gotham Books released a book entitled The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human. Responding not by curing cancer, round house kicks, or any sort of stereotypical behavior Norris instead responded by filing a law suit against Gotham citing charges of trademark infringement, unjust enrichment, and privacy rights. Come on Chuck, take it easy. It just doesn't make sense for someone with little to no talent to attack those who make him bigger than he really is.
Chuck, where would you be had this internet phenomenon not swept the globe? I'll take a gander: a) Starring on one of the many shows that gobble up C-grade actors and actresses such as "Celebrity Rehab" or "Dancing With The Stars" or b) Trying to convince CBS to kickstart "Walker Texas Ranger" on primetime one last time or c) Sponsoring the release of the Total Gym Workout system v.12.0 in order to scrounge up what little money is offered (most likely).
Perhaps the Chuck Norris "facts" need to be revised in light of current events. I've done my best to do so:
When Chuck Norris does pushups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world, and popular culture, down.
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he spends his time filing lawsuits and not crying.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. No, really, he doesn't read books.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Teach that in biology, you filthy liberals.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink, but he can't lead Huckabee to the White House.
Who best to be added to our list of American heroes than the one and only Ryan Adams? At a time when our country (as a nation and music choice) consists of artists such as Brad Paisley (more on him to come at a future date...stay tuned!) bringing us what seems like biannual albums chock full of ridiculous songs, crass lyrics that are unable to arouse white people like even a c-caliber rap song can, and all the while dressed in jeans tight enough that would send a red flag to the Pope as another form of contraceptive in need of denouncing, Adams has preserved this great genre's reputation as one worth paying attention to. If you haven't had a chance to take a listen, we here at 64 Miller Lites recommend you hop on your bike or drive your hybrid car on over to your local independent record store and pick up and album. We know he would appreciate it and we will too if you make sure to play it loud and proud.
Enough of this praise for Adams' nominal achievements as a great musician and one of the best song writers of our generation. We aren't here to commend achievements that don't also carry along a host of practices that are anything but socially acceptable. Being under the impression that Ryan Adams was born to please, he didn't fail to impress me. Sit tight, grab a whiskey on the rocks, snort some coke and enjoy:
On top of his already being a great musician and singer/ songwriter, Adams is known for his fair share of drinkin' and druggin'. It should be noted that his most recent album, Easy Tiger, along with newly released EP, Follow the Lights, and most recently released single, Halloween head/Two, all were recorded by a sober Adams--probably a breath of fresh air for his body and most importantly, his liver. Ryans has a resume of injuries and sustained damaging activity to his body that it is a wonder that today we can hope for some more of his greatness in the form of a new album. I can't say where it started, but his reputation as being a bit rough around the edges was present during his time with alt-country hit band Whiskeytown. In an article by Rolling Stone found here, Whiskeytown's reputation included a slur of drinking and "self-medication" and most importantly on stage fights amongst themselves and including fans. Adams is rumored to have started a brawl with a fan after the fan jokingly shouted at Adams to play the Bryan Adams' hit, "Summer of '69". What can I say, if someone even asks me to listen to that song I'm often inclined to throw a punch.
His antics get worse. Adams is notorious for his actions while blackout drunk. After doing a show with Whiskeytown he supposedly woke up in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask on, apparently not knowing how he got there. We've all been there done that, but it seems that his hooligan practices are best served under the biggest spotlights. Whiskeytown was asked to open for a show on a cross-country tour by John Fogerty. Knowing that the band's repuation was its alt-country, southern style, it seemed a perfect fit. Unfortunately for Fogerty, Adams' and his band had other plans as the played a complete punk set and ended (ended may be a bad word...shut down may be better) the show with a song in which Adams' declared, "Yeah Fogerty was born on the bayou....of Southern California." There's nothing like takin' a shit on your host's carpet they always say.
It doesn't stop there. 2004 saw Ryan fall off stage and break his left wrist, an injury that caused him to cancel his whole spring tour that year. According to sources, Adams was "looking up" while singing which caused him to lose track of his place on stage and take the 6-foot plunge. Apparently "looking up" is what they are calling it these days. Shortly afterwards Adams was given a prescription for a cyst in one of his ears for a topical treatment that doctors later found to be a caustic substance. Perhaps we can give some of the credit to immense amount of music he wrote during his 10-year period of intensity to his practice of waking up drinking and "speedballing" through the night to keep him up so he could focus on song writing. Ryan cites that today he must restrict himself when it comes to songwriting.
His fans will probably be glad to know that these antics may be gone now that Adams has gone sober but it does leave us all wondering what we are going to do without these outrageous headlines. Just this year on the 26th of January, Adams returned to Seattle, a place where he once forgot the lyrics to his own song on stage, to perform for the first time sober. While we may miss hearing of the gruesome destruction to your body, we know the musical phenomenon that you have only begun to reveal will be enhanced.
It's fitting that Art Garfunkel is our choice for our second ultimate hambone. He's used to being second, having played second fiddle (not literally--that would take considerably more musical talent than he has) his entire life. I once heard someone call Art Garfunkel the Scottie Pippen to Paul Simon's Michael Jordan, but I think that is terribly unfair to Mr. Pippen, who was a good ballplayer in his own right. For a more apt comparison, I'd say Garfunkel is the Luc Longley to Simon's His Airness.
Garfunkel spent most of the 1970s riding the coattails of the more talented and personable Simon in the band Simon & Garfunkel. It is no coincidence that Paul's name comes before Art's in the name of the band. Simon wrote most of the band's songs, and was responsible for shaping the group's musical direction. The band won seven Grammys and is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Since their split in 1970 (which is rumored to have occurred after Simon refused to continue helping Garfunkel wipe his ass), Simon and Garfunkel's solo careers have taken remarkably different paths. Simon has continued to put out quality music, winning the Album of the Year Grammy for Graceland in 1986. Simon was also nominated for Album of the Year in 2000 for You're the One and was nominated for an Oscar for Best Song for "Father and Daughter."
Art Garfunkel, needless to say, has not been as successful as his counterpart. Garfunkel has been nominated for exactly zero awards since the split. His musical highlights of the last 30 years include a reunion concert with Simon in 1981 and writing his first song in 2003 (2003?! How does a singer in one of VH1's top bands not write his own song until 2003? I think Milli Vanilli even wrote some of their own stuff).
You'd think with all that free time Garfunkel has had in the last 40 years, he would find time to be productive, right? Wrong. He's been arrested for marijuana possession twice, completed several cross-continental walks and has read over 1000 books, categorized by year on his website. Hey Art, I used to keep a list of books I read too. It was fourth grade and it was for the Book It! program and I got a free pizza every month for reading five books. What did you get for your reading, besides a page on your website where you can show off how much of a pompous twat you are?
Our boy Art is also in the running for most Jewish person of all time. His full name is Arthur Ira Gershwin. What, was Joel Abraham Goldstein taken? Art pledged Alpha Epsilon Pi, an all-Jewish fraternity, during his time at Columbia University. At least Garfunkel broke out of the stereotype with his decidedly un-Jewish hairstyle. I'd classify Garfunkel as Jew, because there is nothing about him that is Jew-ish.
There's no logical way to end a tirade about Art Garfunkel, so I'll end it in the same fashion I imagine Paul Simon ended the duo in 1970. Art, it's just not working out. We're not compatible. You're driving me to drink more than I want to. I'm wasting my creative efforts on you, and you're doing nothing for me in return. With that being said, I'd appreciate it if you would disappear from my life for like 40 years. Peace.
This past season, Buffalo Bills running back Marshawn Lynch quickly became my favorite NFL player. This distinction has nothing to do with his on-field talent-- I hear he had a pretty good year, but I've never seen him play except in highlights and on SportsCenter. No, the reason I like our young philosopher is for his interview skills. I came across this video of him from Buffalo Bills training camp (Marshawn is on the left):
This led me to discover a great segment on SportsCenter where Marshawn was interviewed by Kenny Mayne:
Finally, I came across a clip of Marshawn from his days at Cal:
Needless to say, Marshawn is my new favorite NFL player and he should be yours too. If that doesn't clinch it for you, let me present Exhibit D. Marshawn Lynch has his own blog on YardBarker that he updates on a semi-monthly basis. The writing is exactly the eloquent, free-flowing verse you would expect from a Cal-Berkeley graduate. An example from our young esteemed philosopher:
"whats good yardbarkers what it do its ya local neighborhood running back outta OAKLAND....in buffalo playin for da bills...if u looked at da headline reading DAMN its cause ive been out 4 da past two weeks and its been hurting me not to b out der wit ma teammates even if we losing....i just cant wait til i can get back out der wit ma bra bras (teammates).....but dis just ma lil intro until i can get back to yall wit a lil mo....stay solid til next time" (YardBarker)
So here's to you, Mr. Lynch, you poet of the pigskin. You are an inspiration to us all--an illiterate college graduate making millions a year to play a game you love. Whenever I'm struggling to write, and can't quite get into Beast Mode, I think of you, and somehow it always comes out solid. Way too solid.
Here's a clip of Will Ferrell playing HORSE with Bill Walton on the set of his new movie, Semi-Pro. Walton looks like he's lost a step or two, but I was surprised with how good of a shot Ferrell was. Bonus points for the inclusion of Larry Bird's sick over-the-backboard shot.
Here is the first look at the trailer for Pineapple Express, the new movie from the Superbad gang. My favorite part- M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" as the soundtrack for the trailer. Looks like it will be a good one:
I recently got around to finally watching Scorsese's No Direction Home, and I couldn't help but be reminded of this classic video. If you haven't seen it, it's hilarious. If you have, it's worth another look:
We have to say, we really like what the folks at Stuff White People Like are doing. Check them out when you get a chance. Some of our favorite things white people like:
Former presidential candidate and Horatio Sanz look-alike Bill Richardson has recently been seen sporting a beard (and a bow-tie, but that's another matter altogether). Richardson appears to be participating in Facial Hair February, a month-long event usually reserved for college freshmen to grow facial hair to match their fake IDs or for 13-year old Mexican boys to grow wispy mustaches that make them look like, well, 15-year old Mexican boys. For comparison, here's how Richardson looked when he was still in the race:
A little too late to be trying appeal to Latin voters, don't you think?
When one thinks of heroism, several attributes come to mind. Bravery. Courage. Strength. A kick-ass beard. The ability to drink 764 ounces of beer in a seven-hour span. Wade Boggs exemplifies these characteristics and more, and is our choice as our first American Hero.
Okay, let's get it out of the way: The dude could drink. A lot. According to numerous credible sources (namely, urban legends), Boggs would go out on the town and regularly drink anywhere between 30 and 70 Miller Lites. In one of the most widely circulated Boggs tales, Wade drank 64 Miller Lites on a cross-country flight (either New York to Seattle, or Boston to LA, depending on the report). Boggs, in an interview on "Pardon the Interruption," denied that it was 64:
Former teammates have corroborated the legend, however. Jeff Nelson, in a radio interview, said
"I’ve never seen anyone drink as much beer as [Boggs] did in my life...I’d say, on a typical road trip, east coast to west coast, say a road game to Seattle……Wade would drink anywhere between 50 and 60 beers...I know how crazy that sounds, and I wouldn’t believe it myself unless I saw him do it…..numerous times. And he drank nothing but Miller Lite." (Tasty Booze)
Nelson went on to explain just how Boggs could down so many, well, Boggs.
"Wade was the kind of guy who was always the first one at the club house. So he’d get to the clubhouse, and he’d bring a six pack with him. He’d be there drinking a beer when someone showed up, and as we were all packing our stuff up out of our lockers and getting our bags ready for the trip, Wade would sit there and drink that whole six pack.
"Now, at the time, we were flying out of New Jersey, so it was somewhat of a drive from Yankee stadium to the airport in New Jersey. Wade would drink another couple of beers on the bus to the airport. At the time, we were flying this older airplane, it couldn’t make it across the country without refueling, and it wasn’t the fastest airplane in the sky. So we would stop in North Dakota or something. Wade would drink about a half rack between New Jersey and North Dakota, and it would take about a half-hour to an hour to refuel once we got there, so he’d have a few more beers while we were grounded in North Dakota.
"Once we got back up in the air, Wade would drink another 10, 11, 12 beers on the way out to the west coast. The whole flight from coast to coast ususally took us well over 7 hours. We’d touch down at Sea-Tac, hop on the bus headed to the Kingdome, and Wade would have another beer or two on the bus. Then, all of us would get to the Kingdome and unpack our bags and sit around and BS with eachother, and Wade would have a beer in his hand the entire time. He was always one of the last people to leave the club house too. So I’d say that all in all, he drank over 50 beers on the trip, and this wasn’t just an isolated incident, he did that almost every time." (Tasty Booze)
Needless to say, Boggs has developed a bit of a cult following for his drinking feats. It is mind-blowing that a man could drink as much as Boggs did, and end up as a Hall of Fame baseball player, hitting .328 for his career. So thank you, Mr. Boggs, for inspiring us all to be better men, and giving us a new nickname for a great tasting, less-filling brew. So next time you're at your local watering hole, order a cold Boggs Lite and toast to the one and only Wade, our generation's Paul Bunyan.
In one cross-country flight, Wade Boggs put down 64 Miller Lites (or Boggs Lites, as we now affectionately call them). 64. In the spirit of Boggs' absurdity and his alcoholism, here is a collection of all the weird, asinine, humorous, quirky, and offensive the Internet has to offer. Enjoy, and remember-- What would Wade do?
A little too late to be trying appeal to Latin voters, don't you think?
